Marriage Wisdom

I dub the title of this post, "Marriage Wisdom," because this past week Ross and I celebrated our whopping 3 year anniversary. I wouldn't say it is a "big thing" not by a long stretch, but I have definitely learned a lot in these past 3 years. In the past three years we've had 5 (soon to me 6) moves. and lived in 4 cities across across 2 countries and 2 states.

We went out to a fancy dinner where the group at the table next to us were celebrating a couple who had been married 40 years. Now, that is kinda a big thing. About a month ago I was joking about newlyweds on social media. "Happy six months!" and "Every day I love you more!!" "He still makes me laugh every day!" And I just had to laugh a little and shake my head. I say this tongue in cheek because obviously I don't have much more marriage experience than them, but I'm pretty sure I could hang out with a homeless stranger every day for six months and he could probably make me laugh or smile. What I am saying is, I don't know if that is a big crowning achievement of a successful marriage.

The first year of (my) marriage was not the best. It wasn't magical. It wasn't my princess fairy tale. And that is totally okay. The second year wasn't easier, and the third year still wasn't perfect. Weird right?

Not really.

In my limited marriage experience, I've learned that being married doesn't make life easier (and in fact sometimes it makes things more complicated). But I get to be with my best friend in the whole entire world. I wouldn't trade him for anyone or anything. I love him more fiercely than I ever have before. Probably because I've had to fight for it. There are times when I just want to punch him in the throat, but I love him a lot too.

A big thing in this world, or maybe just the Mormon world, is anniversaries. When you first met, your first date, when you were bf/gf, when you got engaged. They are these monumental things that require hours of Pinterst project preparation to appropriately celebrate. I don't remember out first date. I mean, the location or the time. I don't even know if it was a date. And I don't have a defining moment of, "When I knew I loved him"

During the course of our dinner Ross and I talked about how we make it work. I asked him what he thought the best piece of marriage advice was, and we thought about it for awhile.

I say: Being able to be wrong. And how being wrong is okay. That, and a delicate balance with being stubborn.

I'm stubborn, fiercely stubborn. And in my past few years of marriage the hardest lesson is knowing where to place that stubbornness. I don't give up. On him, on me, on us. And no matter how angry I can get at him and no matter how much I hate medical school. I'm in this. And I'm not giving up.