Music Monday #15 The Thousands of Stars

Sometimes, I have very specific memories of music. I remember the very first time I listened to Angels and Airwaves. I was sitting in my boyfriend's car at a gas station on University Parkway, listening to the music he had playing from his ipod. I remember sneaking a look at the ipod while he was gone so I could find out what band it was. And as they say, "the rest is history" (for me and Angels and Airwaves at least).

Angels and Airwaves already had two CDs out by that point, so I had a great deal of catching up to do, but they quickly became my favorite band. For many months I listened to them exclusively. Being very formative and important years of my life, it's not too dramatic to say they got me through a lot. Even as I continue to listen to the music after all these years, I can think of thousands of associated memories. Some make me happy, some make me sad, and most always it, well, inspires me.

I think it is about time I do a Music Monday for one of my favorite songs from the band.

"Call to Arms" is from the band's second album, I-Empire. It is an amazing song and I've thought out many different interpretations for it. Today I am just going to pick out some lines.

"Have you ever felt a sad heart buried alive?/ You can do almost anything." 

The imagery in this line always gets me. In our moments of true desperation, when we feel truly forsaken and forgotten, the imagery of a sad heart buried alive begins to capture it. But this is followed directly by the line, You can do almost anything. It makes me think of a friend encouraging and lifting you up.

"And the thousands of stars come out thousands of times/ We can go, only if you believe/ Only if you believe."

A great deal of Angels and Airwaves music is centered around space and ethereal themes. Which again, makes the imagery of stars in the night sky absolutely stunning. I think back to times when I have seen the stars best. It was in isolated places, when the night was darkest. Only then are the stars most visible and bright. The stars have shown up in the night sky thousands upon thousands of billions of times. It is a pretty sure thing. The next line speaks to me about faith, believing. And how it is crucial in life.

"Do you feel like you've lost everything you can lose?/... Do you ever lay awake with a look in the eye?/ Asking God if a wish is too big to deny/ I will offer a line, and it's ready for use."

I think we've all had times in our life when even when surrounded by people we know love us, we feel so alone. This song always gives me hope. That desperation I was talking about, the feeling of not being able to lose any more than you have, are captured in these lines. Maybe it is the christian in me that likes the next bit. There have been so many times in my life where I have pleaded with God. Whether it is on my knees in prayer or lying awake at night, hoping in faith that my wish wasn't too big to be denied.

"When you can't go on, you got to get up and try/ This is it, can you feel me?/ When the bombs come down, you will make it alive/ But only if you want to believe." 

Again, I think of an encouraging friend who is right by your side. With the name of this song being, "Call to Arms" I appreciate the line about the bombs coming down, and making it out alive. Because in life we all have our metaphorical wars and battlefields. Call to Arms is a summon, an order, to take up and fight, which we all need to do to make it out alive.

This last little bit I love because I can never nail down what I think it means.

"I'd like to say, that you're my only fear/ and when I dream, it slowly disappears/ And when I wake, I'm right here by your side/ to feel your heart, beat in and out of time." 

I have a few ideas... but what are yours?

Kwid's Kulinary Adventures Kontinue

I talk about food a lot. Good food is my happy place.

Shortly before my arrival to the U.S. I found out that a wonderful Palmdale-local restaurant was going out of business. Saddened, I knew I would need to ask my parents to take me here one last time.

They have been in business almost as long as I have been alive... 23 years! You can see in the upper left corner that they have gotten the City's Best award for many years.

We ordered some drinks and an appetizer to share.

As you can see, the drinks came in mason jars about as big as my head. We got a root beer float to share and I got a strawberry lemonade, to share as well incidentally. They were amazing. I love when you can see the strawberries just swimmin' around in your lemonade. The appetizer, as you can surmise, was just a bunch of fried American glory.

Between that and the side salads, I honestly don't know why they bothered to bring out the entrees.



Like a true American at risk of high cholesterol, heart failure, high blood pressure, and diabetes, I got the country fried steak. Since I don't drink and I don't smoke, this is my foodie version of YOLO.
Only thing was, it was a huge portion. I went ahead and included my hand so you could see the sheer size of that portion.

Ever played those "What's Different between these Pictures" game. Go ahead and play it now.

SPOILER ALERT: The only difference is about 4 bites and some fries are missing from the picture on the right.

It was a great night, and will continue to be great for how ever many meals I have leftovers.

It was sad to say goodbye. Lots of fun family memories and celebrations were had here. I remember being mortified for how over-dressed I was when I went here for a pre-Daddy Daughter Dance date. Just so happened to find a photo lying around the house a couple days before.



I'll have to save a higher-quality photo for a #tbt. In case you can't figure it out, I'm on the left with my grandpa and my sister Ali is on the right with my dad.

Bye Steer 'n Stein, you will be missed.

Happy Birthday Pip!

This friendship story starts a long time ago in my freshman year of college when I was preparing to move to off-campus housing. All by myself. Harden and cold, all alone. The complex I was moving to was three (or more?) gigantic buildings. For logistical reasons I asked to be put in the first building, and received my apartment number to which I would be moving in the next few months.

As the months went by I called again to find out what my apartment number was, only to find I was put on the opposite side of the complex.

Little did I know, it was of the best decisions that would have ever been made for me.

Because when I moved into that cave apartment of 5 random strangers, I met the beautiful Pip.

Nope, that isn't her true name, but it is her real name to me.

At our first meeting I never would have guessed we would be as good of friends as we are now.

We've been through a lot together. Being roommates in college will do that to you. Heart breaks, final papers, holidays, moving, drama, missing leftovers, dating, car trouble, hospital visits, sickness, midnight store runs, Halloween dances, engagements, you get the picture.

When you go through that much with a person you either end up hating them, or having to keep them because they know too much. Good thing I like her!

As friends you end up doing weird stuff, like making Daniel and the Lions Den cake.



Or do weird white people things like go hot tubing in the snow, or decided midnight and pajamas is the perfect time to get soft serve.



Best friends like Pip also support you on your triple date endeavors.

I often find myself missing my old roommate. I miss writing a thousand Love Notes. I miss our late night drives and afternoon talks. I miss spending entirely too long at the MOA cafe. I miss borrowing clothes, and watching Criminal Minds when we should be studying. Mostly I miss seeing her beautiful face everyday. You really form a unique bond with a roommate best friend.

I am so happy that we are still best friends far across the distance and spaces between us. She has definitely shown me how to go on. Near, far, where ever we are I believe that we will be friends forever.

So here is to my brilliant, beautiful, witty, understanding, inspirational best friend. I love you so much Pip! 

Let's do this next quarter century thing (you go first though).

Happy Birthday Brigette!

I don't have many friends. And I know that part of this is because I am totally weird. Like TOTALLY.

Imagine. Just imagine for a second, having to be my best friend for 12 YEARS.

I feel like we have been through it all! We haven't always been literally by each others' side, but we've always been there for each other. That is the way friendship works.

For that fact alone, you know that she is going to be amazing. 

A friend holds the camera when I decide to make a reality show about pizza crusts.

A friend gets my lame jokes and laughs at them.

A friend visits me late at night when I'm sick of packing and not ready to go back to school.

A friend finds something else to do when the NYE dance is super lame. And then together we get to take strange pictures and get into trouble with creepy people.

A friend is the only one I will let be legitimately jealous of my PKHS-07-Lifetime-Warranty Watch (don't lie!).



























A friend will pose with you in your homemade Napoleon Dynamite shirt (I call it avant-garde).

And let you wear your leopard print sunglasses.

A friend will come over and make a birthday cake for inanimate objects cos you are kinda pathetic and really heart-broken.

A friend sells her firstborn child to send you massive amounts of LUSH products when you are living in a far away land.

A friend drives you to Warped Tour and walks around with you even though you look stupid with that free shirt wrapped around your neck like a sweat scarf.

A friend keeps your crafts even if they are a little special. 

A friend doesn't care that you used a Lisa Franktastic rainbow unicorn border around a photo collage. 

A best friend calls you out when you are being ridiculous, and forgives you anyways. 

A friend has a million memories and a dozen pictures that don't even touch the jokes there. 

Here us our classic first friends picture that will seriously never get old (hellloooo disposable camera film!).

And a picture from my wedding. I have no idea what is going on, but I love it. 

I was going through pictures of the two of us and we don't have a TON, considering we have been friends since we were 12. But then I thought about it. You don't take pictures when you go to the grocery store. You don't take pictures when you brush your hair. You don't take pictures when you eat dinner (well, sometimes you do). You don't take pictures of normal, natural things that you do day in and day out.

And that is our friendship. It will always be there, forever and ever. 

Happy Birthday to my best friend forever Brigette! I love you so much. You are so beautiful and talented and intelligent and funny! You make my world go round, and I know that I could never go through all I have without you.

Here is to the year left before we "die."

Huh?

Sunday night Ross and I were on campus for a meeting about the next step and 3rd year of medical school. This next week we he has to put in his top choices for placement for his clinical years. This meeting was just some general information and had a time for questions at the end. Luckily we got all our questions answered.

On our way to the bus after the meeting we saw this in Charter Hall,

Huh?! 

And this mess literally three feet across from this chair.

What is wrong with people?! 

All I can say is, having done my fair sure of cleaning up people's crap custodial work, you people are despicable! 

You've Been ACCEPTED (now how do I get there?)!

My first question (since I have HOARDS of readers) is, when your Significant Other was accepted into medical school, how did you respond?

Did you cry?
Did you laugh?
Did you panic?
Did you cheer?
Other (super exhaustive list, I know)!?

Or did you do all at once resulting in a crazy epileptic break-dance of joy and fear?

Did you feel like you were in the movie UP?

ADVENTURE IS OUT THEEEERRRREEE!!

^I can almost promise you watching that clip will be the best four minutes of your day!

Grenada is in the West Indies, it's like India, BUT WEST! :)

After you are done being excited about moving your clubhouse and saving blank pages for all the "Stuff I'm Going to Do" you will wonder, just like Ellie,

"Only, I just don't know how I am going to GET to Paradise Falls Grenada!"

And although it would be awesome to ride in a blimpe, or float up comfortably suspended by balloons, most of us just take an airplane.




When you are booking your airfare and looking at airlines and itineraries, here is a good expectation to have.



You have American Airlines all the way to Grenada or you might find routes that includes Liat or Caribbean Airlines.

You may get lucky and have a good experience, I hope you do, for both of us!

Caribbean Airlines: Is what I call Caribbean Luggage roulette. But instead of spinning a barrel with a bullet, you put your bags on the belt at the concierge and as it rolls away, you gamble ever seeing it again in the next week, or month.

Liat Airlines: Is where you should bust a hole in the window and dive off the plane with some awesome luggage and float to Grenada because you'd get there faster, and your luggage would be guaranteed.



And America Airlines is just a pain. They like to raise prices around when students enter and leave the island and they also like to randomly cancel legs of your flight, maybe they will tell you, maybe they won't. Also maybe they will charge you for the second bag, but also maybe not.

Delta also flies to Grenada.

Generally, I stick to American. And I avoid long layovers in the icebox Trinidad and Tobago Airport. I never thought I was so close a chilly frozen death than when I was in that airport. And that is coming from a Desert Rat who lived in Utah for a spell. Yeah.

Buying your fare is always an unfortunate ordeal. Here are some suggestions from other SOs (Significant Others) that I shamelessly took from the SOs of SGU Facebook page.

-Use sites such as these to find a good deal, and don't forget to compare different days if your dates are flexible:

• Booking straight from the Airline can sometimes be the cheapest, and it also often makes it easier to make changes and adjustments. 
• Kayak
• Priceline
• OneTravel 
• CheapOAir

-Try splitting up your trip by booking separately. For example, fly to New York, and from NY to Grenada. Or fly to Trinidad (Port of Spain) and from there to Grenada. Might be worth it, might not. But worth a look.

-Pay attention to travel embargoes and your luggage amounts so you can pack accordingly.
When I landed in Trinidad for my layover, I had to collect my luggage, go through customs, leave the airport, and walk back in to re-check my bags through Caribbean Airlines. Although AA allowed me to have two checked bags no problem, Caribbean Airlines kinda hassled me about it, but in the end with a smile, wink, shimmy, and wide-eyed I-barely-understand-anything-because-of-your-accent look I got the second bag on without problems.

Good luck with your travel itinerary and remember:

Grena- WHAT?! (.gif packed action!)

When my dearest husband told me that he was going to apply to a medical school in the Caribbean, I laughed. I think I was conscientous enough to laugh on the inside, and my outward manifestion of desperation was masked by wide eyes.

"Huh?"





I mean, I knew he wanted to have options... but I wasn't about to sign up for some crack-pot-voodoo-magic-med-school.

*ahem*

The days went on and I began to think, "lounging in the sun for a couple years couldn't be THAT bad!" 



Then I used my debit card to pay for the application. And things got REAL.



So like any self-respecting, self-proclaimed Social Scientist would do, I got to work researching. I attacked the information with ferocity! I found the Significant Others web page, I read blogs, I took notes (nerd alert!).

And I cried.



I'm not afraid to admit that. Plus, that was in my younger and more vulnerable days.

And then came the move back in with my parents, the acceptance letter, the crappy buffer jobs, and all of a sudden, we were packed and sitting in LAX for the world's most anxiety packed trip.

I must have been in a fugue state or something. Because almost a year later, here I am!

All jokes aside (because honestly, a fugue state might've been better ha...ha...ha).

My intention is to write a series of GRENADA posts to help my fellow SOs, ex-pats, and adventure-lovers -pack, arrive, and adjust to the adventure of living in Grenada! :)

Welcome.

Keep Going, Finish the Race

Positive Post #4

Don't let the little things trip you up!

The best way I have thought to illustrate this is a literal example. It is a tear-jerker and SUPER embarrassing but I hope it is inspiring in the end.

For a couple years in high school I ran track. In my heart I am a cross country runner, but the cross country coach always roped the team into running distance for track season.

I sometimes ran the mile, but mostly the two mile race. Two miles around a 400m track means ... 8 laps. Running in a circle 8 times. I definitely did not like that, but I gave it a fair shot for a couple years.

In track you wear a specific kind of shoe called "spikes." It is a lightweight shoe with some plastic protrusions as well as about 8 spaces or less for metal spikes to be screwed into the bottom of the shoe. This helps give your foot traction as you run.

 

Since I ran on a variety of tracks I had a variety of spikes in my tool kit. They ranged from what was appropriate on a fancy schmancy "real" track (*cough* Oxnard) to what was appropriate on our low class dirt tracks in the Antelope Valley.



At one particular track meet I was prepping my spikes from "low class" to "fancy schmancy," when I couldn't get some of the spikes out. They had been ground into my shoe and were stuck. My coach reassured me that it would probably be fine if I used a variety of spikes in the bottom of my shoe. Off I went to run the two mile race!

The first time I fell on that awful spiky red track, it hurt my pride more than my knees. I picked myself up and kept going, a bit surprised at the fall. I took my strides more carefully. Then I fell again. And again, and again, and again. With each fall I became more frustrated and my knees seared with pain. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was trying as hard as I could to be focused, to pace myself, to take long strides, to pick up my legs and feet. My bony knees became raw and each fall hurt more. I felt that lump building in the back of my throat and tears welling in my eyes.



I remember falling at least 10 times that race. Yep. Over ten times in 8 laps.

But I kept going. I kept up my wobble jog.

I was lapped, the next race started. My failure was out there for the world to see and every time I lumbered past the grandstands I felt it. But I knew I had to finish.

That would be cool if the crowds in the stands gave me a standing ovation as I stumbled across the finish line. That would be fantastic if the director gave me a bouquet and medal. That would be nice if hot EMTs whisked me away to administer to my raw bleeding knee caps. That would have been satisfying if my team bore me up on their shoulders and carried me away.



But none of that happened.

The specifics of the story seem so far away, the exact spikes in the bottom of my shoe, the number of times I fell, my final finishing time. When talking to my coach afterwards, he figured it must have been the variations of spikes in my shoe were responsible for my downfall (haha get it?).

But with all pride now vanished, I learned an important lesson that day.

Keep getting up. Keep going. Finish the race. 
Don't let your falls, your perceived failures, stop you from continuing and finishing.

Recently I stumbled up this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland, taken from a speech you can read here.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/118082280/jeffrey-r-holland-quote-made-on

Your wounds will heal (albeit with much pain and maybe some scars). And you won't even remember how many times you fell. But you will remember crossing that finish line.


And what more? You'll run again!

2012 Review in Pictures

It's New Year's Eve!
Or as they say in Grenada, "Old Year's Day!" I think that makes a lot more sense. :) To commemorate the close of the year I am summing up 2012 in 12 pictures! Which is convenient because I can do one per month.

January
Ross and I had successfully moved to California and one of our first trips of the New Year was the the L.A. Arboretum. Ross was in love with this crazy squirrel who loved Ross only for the pecans he had in his pocket. We wasted in time in feeding the fat little guy (the squirrel that is).

February
My parents took us on a very impromptu trip to Yosemite on a three day weekend. It was both of our first times to the National Park. I like this picture because it is fun to imagine being anywhere close to that cold! I remember freezing my little canvas covered feet off. And of course, having a really great time hiking in the snow and exploring the incredible place that is Yosemite. I already want to go back.

March
We went with my family again to the Huntington Library and Gardens. I had always wanted to go there, but it was always a little to pricey. I didn't even get to see the Japanese gardens because they were getting remodeled but I decided that when I grow up into an adult with a job I could live here.

April
Ross's parents and close family friends the Morris family can to California. We met up with them in Solvang and had a really fun time hanging out in Santa Barbara and San Simeon. Ross had always wanted to go to Hearst's Castle so it was awesome to be able to finally go. It was great to be able to see his family too.

May
Ross and I braved the early summer heat and went to the nearby Devil's Punchbowl to hike around. We found a yucca stalk just a little bit taller and skinnier than him. The best part of the hike was getting drenched in the cool stream at the bottom of the Punchbowl.

June
I have Ross's fantastical photography skills to thank for this picture! Which is great because as it turns out, I don't have many pictures from June. One fun project Ross and I took on was to try out planting sunflowers in the backyard. We weren't sure if it would work because my parents mentioned before that sunflowers hadn't been successful in our yard in the past. Sunflowers are my absolute favorite and I figured we only had a couple dollars worth of seeds to lose. Annnnd, I am happy to say they turned out spectacular! Some grew to probably 9 or 10 feet tall. In this picture you can see a bee that was lovin' the flowers!

July
On the Fourth of July we had a really fun BBQ with the Lucas family. It was so much fun to hang out and set off fireworks while mostly watching all the really awesome illegal ones in the sky around us. The bottom right picture of the collage is Ross and I with my godson Asher on the Fourth. But I had to cheat and share the whole collage (made by Brigette). Because July is the perfect month to summer up all the fun Ross and I had spending with the Lucas family and awesome little Asher (who isn't so little anymore).

August

By August Ross and I had already packed up and shipped out to move to Grenada so Ross could start medical school at St. George's University. Here is a picture of us at his White Coat Ceremony. Which you can read all about here.

September
After Ross was done with his big Unified quiz he had we took advantage and headed downtown to explore. We got rained on but had a fun time. You can read about that here.

October

Here is another rare moment where I got a picture with Ross. We checked out a new beach, La Sagesse on the south side of the island. It was a nice break and a fun beach. It is the perfect combo of the Pacific Ocean I grew up knowing and the Caribbean Ocean I now live in. I wrote but never posted a blog post about the trip so you don't have to worry about opening a link to read about that one. Haha.

November
On my birthday I stole Ross away from crazy studying to have a picnic at the tidepools. It was so windy the candles wouldn't light. Not even when Ross downsized to one candle! Haha. It was still a perfectly awesome birthday. And because you care, you can read about how spoiled I was on my birthday here.

December
Here we are, already at DECEMBER. Where did 2012 go? This is from a trip Ross and I took downtown to Fort George. It has great views and someday I will blog about it. Here is a rare photo taken by a stranger. I love it!

What a great year it has been! So much change and adventuring and excitement. Who knows the next time I will have a year packed with so much anxiety and whirlwind changes? But I am looking forward to 2013 and hope that I can have optimism when faced with change and challenges.

Happy New Year's Eve everyone I hope your year has been great! 

Remembering Grandma W

This past weekend my sweet Grandma Widdison passed away.

I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time at her house in my younger years before she moved to Utah. I remember her tiny little home in The Valley. I remember turning the street corner and getting antsy to run into her arms. I remember the end table filled with puzzles. And I am just realizing that maybe this is why I am so crazy for puzzles to this day. I remember the cookie jar that mooed when you took off the lid. I also remember that cookie jar being a little lamb with a straw hat. I remember running in between my grandma's lines for laundry when playing in the back yard. I remember my grandma loved to sing.
My grandma sewed a lot, and she was great at it. Christmas meant homemade jammies.

This is a picture of my brothers and sisters at my grandma's house in our new Christmas jammies Grandma made. My nightgown is a Precious Moments flannel pattern. Pretty sure that little tree is set up on the puzzle-filled end table.

Grandma also made us girls beautiful dresses. Ali and I always matched. I specifically remember loving this dress because it reminded me of a Ragedy Ann doll, which I thought was pretty neat.

Grandma was also really good at cross-stitch, like incredible at it. As I developed my own love and respect for handicrafts, I remember going over to her house in college and staring at the thousands of tiny, perfect stitches in her work.

Living so close to her in college I got to see her again, as she had moved from California to Utah quite a few years prior. I remember sometimes going to church with her and she was so proud to show off her grandchildren. I remember every birthday I was sure to get a cute kitty or puppy card with her perfectly formed cursive handwriting inside. Grandma loved little cute baby animals.

When I got married Grandma made me a beautiful quilt in my wedding colors. I had it on display at my reception. And after I had it on my bed every day until I couldn't bear the thought of it wearing, tearing, and fading.  I wish I had a closer up picture to show the detail, but I don't have one with me.

At a full life and 92 years old, I know that she is happy now. I know she missed her husband and parents and friends, and even though I have a hole in my heart, I can fill it with the peace and comfort. Peace and comfort that this is just the next step in eternity, I can be with her again.

My dad, and his mom, my Grandma W.