QW #20: Patchy Dead Grass Pasture

I'm pretty terrible at those whole, "Count your blessings," "Be grateful for what you have," games.

I complain a lot, and I tend to spend too much time gazing at grazing in greener pastures in the months and years to come.

[Via]

"There is always ALWAYS something to be thankful for."

But today, I was invincible. You know why? Because it was the last day of my hot mitts on the wheel of a rental car.

Ou ou! Look at that sexy thing!

Have you ever been super excited to go to the grocery store? Because today I was. Today, the thought of getting to go to a crowded, half stocked grocery store full of cranky employees was nothing. Because I could drive there. I even spoiled myself with some air conditioning.

I have fully convinced myself that not having a car here in Grenada is the root of all my problems. The first term it was alright. The second term it was kind of a pain. By the third and fourth terms, needing groceries (which coincidentally happens quite frequently) was my personal nightmare. You may not think of all that goes into it, but suffice it to say it is a HUGE, hot, sweaty, frustrating pain. 

Ligature marks on my arms and wrist? Or me hauling 40 pounds of groceries on and off all kinds of buses?

Just a week or so ago I joked with Ross that "A car payment never looked so good!" I remember those days of complaining about the car payment, the insurance, the tire rotations, the new tires, etc.

Now I just sit back and laugh at myself. What did I have to complain about?

I could afford a car.
I could drive a car. 

That should be enough. So yes, I had a car for a day. But when I return that car, I can still be grateful for my terrible car-less situation. What do I have to complain about?

I can afford groceries.
I can afford bus fare.
I am healthy enough to make walk them back home with the groceries.

Grenada has really taught me about all that I have to be grateful for (that is what happens at Rock Bottom). 

Somedays it is hard because I feel like I am missing so much right now in my life. All the things I have to be grateful for are well... not here. I'm anxious to have that car. I'm anxious to have my friends and family closer.  Somedays my pasture just looks like it is full of patchy dead grass (apt since it is dry season here). 

But I'm trying to focus more on what I can be thankful for right now. Like say, being able to stock up on groceries and  load 70 pounds of them in (rental) your car. 

(It's funny, now it doesn't even look like much but it still means the WORLD to me that I could get all of this in one trip!)