Music Monday #5: From Here to...?

Ross and I have a ton of music similarities. It makes life really nice.

BUT

You know, there are some differences. I love Jack Johnson. His music just chills me out and makes me so relaxed and happy. In college I would listen to him to help me de-stress and sleep. I periodically ask Ross if he likes Jack Johnson in hopes he has changed his mind. Ross, one of the most chill people I know doesn't like Jack Johnson? I'm still trying to work through that one.

His latest album, "From Here to Now to You," is really great. It may be my favorite so far. The one I chose to talk about today is called "Home."



I think it is really cool that it is the last song on the album. I wrote a post recently about how I will soon be leaving my home. Or, where I currently live. I've spent the last two years thinking about what home is.

I've learned the hard way what home isn't:

It isn't always California.
It sadly isn't (anymore) with mom and dad.
It isn't where I have all my clothes, or all my kitchen appliances.
It isn't where I have the comfiest bed.

But I have found that home is:

Anywhere! Anywhere I chose, or, am forced to go.

This is a really beautiful song. I found myself humming this song while looking through pictures I took on vacation this past week. The imagery from the song is great. Here are some of my favorite lyrics from one of the verses.

"In the back of my house there's a trail a trail that won't end. We went walking so far that it grew back in. Now there's no trail at all, only grass growing tall. Get out my machete and battle with time once again.

But I'm bound to lose 'cause I'll be damned if time don't win." 

This is pretty perfect in a song about home. I like to think about the last sentence in a metaphorical sense. Home, family, loved ones, need to be tended to now because time is our enemy and it will always win.
I too often wish my time away. Wish that this phase or that of my life would just be over, so I can move on to better things. But I forget that I don't have to worry because time always wins.

The chorus is great too. Here are a couple bits from it.

"So I try to understand what I can't hold in my hand

And whatever I find, I'll find my way back to you."

So many of the most important things in life aren't tangible. We can't hold them in our hands, and somehow that makes them infinitely more difficult to understand and comprehend. Like love, or the aforementioned home.

"Home is wherever we are if there's love here too." 

In conclusion, have I answered where or what home (oh intangible home!) is? Jack tells us in the chorus that home is all about love (you intangible love!). Which works out kind of perfect because California, Mom and Dad, kitchen appliances, and comfy beds don't always fit in two 50 lb bags and a carry on. But love and home have traveled half way across the world with me pretty well.

For now I will be satisfied with that, "I'll keep food in my belly and hope that my time isn't soon."

QW #20: Patchy Dead Grass Pasture

I'm pretty terrible at those whole, "Count your blessings," "Be grateful for what you have," games.

I complain a lot, and I tend to spend too much time gazing at grazing in greener pastures in the months and years to come.

[Via]

"There is always ALWAYS something to be thankful for."

But today, I was invincible. You know why? Because it was the last day of my hot mitts on the wheel of a rental car.

Ou ou! Look at that sexy thing!

Have you ever been super excited to go to the grocery store? Because today I was. Today, the thought of getting to go to a crowded, half stocked grocery store full of cranky employees was nothing. Because I could drive there. I even spoiled myself with some air conditioning.

I have fully convinced myself that not having a car here in Grenada is the root of all my problems. The first term it was alright. The second term it was kind of a pain. By the third and fourth terms, needing groceries (which coincidentally happens quite frequently) was my personal nightmare. You may not think of all that goes into it, but suffice it to say it is a HUGE, hot, sweaty, frustrating pain. 

Ligature marks on my arms and wrist? Or me hauling 40 pounds of groceries on and off all kinds of buses?

Just a week or so ago I joked with Ross that "A car payment never looked so good!" I remember those days of complaining about the car payment, the insurance, the tire rotations, the new tires, etc.

Now I just sit back and laugh at myself. What did I have to complain about?

I could afford a car.
I could drive a car. 

That should be enough. So yes, I had a car for a day. But when I return that car, I can still be grateful for my terrible car-less situation. What do I have to complain about?

I can afford groceries.
I can afford bus fare.
I am healthy enough to make walk them back home with the groceries.

Grenada has really taught me about all that I have to be grateful for (that is what happens at Rock Bottom). 

Somedays it is hard because I feel like I am missing so much right now in my life. All the things I have to be grateful for are well... not here. I'm anxious to have that car. I'm anxious to have my friends and family closer.  Somedays my pasture just looks like it is full of patchy dead grass (apt since it is dry season here). 

But I'm trying to focus more on what I can be thankful for right now. Like say, being able to stock up on groceries and  load 70 pounds of them in (rental) your car. 

(It's funny, now it doesn't even look like much but it still means the WORLD to me that I could get all of this in one trip!)

Just Thoughts

Today has been a bit if a melancholy day. My parents and sister headed back to the states after their week long vacation here in Grenada. Now I'm sitting here feeling a mix of emotions. 

I was really sad to see them leave, of course. They were barely here 6 days which is simply not enough. I mean, one can never have enough time to relax and snorkel or stare out at the beautiful sea. There was so much more to do.

I was also sad to see them go for more selfish reasons, like needing their unconditional love a friendship so close by. Their sweet hotel and rental car were nice perks too! ;) 

After Ross and I dropped them off for their early flight we headed back to the hotel to chill out and nap until we could check out for them. After a nap I wandered out to their kitchen that opens out to the gorgeous Grand Anse beach. Like an old timer reminiscing the good ol' days, I rocked on the porch and stared out at the rolling waves. 

My life is a bit nuts. And when I have these perfect moments in my imperfect life, it really hits me. Perfect moments like sitting next to Ross, munching on leftover (amazing) Dove chocolate ice cream bars, staring at that gorgeous blue water; I realize how dang lucky I am. 

Blessed, lucky, fortunate, call it whatever, but it's all mine. 

• A family that will literally travel across half the globe to see me, saving money for dinners at Schnitzel Haus, sacrificing luggage space to bring me Samoas, jelly beans, and beef jerky. A family that near or far, where ever they are, will always be there for me. 
• A beautiful sea and white sand beach at my feet. 
• An amazing best friend and husband who every once in a while I get to hang out with. 

It's just crazy how much I miss them already. Two months ago it was "hang in there until mom and dad and Ali get here," and now they are gone, Ross and I are just kinda blown away at everything. Just less than 7 weeks and we are outta here for good.



I remember last year at this time, feeling so hopeless that I would never get off this rock. I remember two weeks ago feeling so hopeless that I would never get off this rock. And today it somehow feels so much more tangible. So much closer. With work picking up and packing up, I no longer take the time left lightly.

The END: Family Visit Day 6

When I woke up on Friday ... actually lets back up a bit. 

Thursday night when Ross  and I were driving back to our apartment, we were chatting about how quickly the week had gone. It seemed just like yesterday when my mom was saying, "It's only Monday! We have lots of time." But here we were, late Thursday on the cusp of "One day left."

When I woke up in Friday I was already a little sad that this was our last day with them. I don't mean to sound like they were dying, but lets face it, when I return to the USA in just 7 weeks we won't have the option of hanging out on a beautiful beach, leisurely searching for sea glass, or climbing around a waterfall.

I got over to their hotel as soon as I could (again, I'm making it sound like they were dying yeesh). We decided to do what we do best... bum it at the beach and fit in some more snorkeling. Throughout the week my parents kept commenting on how awesome it was that we were so close to the beach. Livin' out in Palmdale I'm sure my parents are used to the the standard "round up the troops!" mentality. That is, prepare for an hour plus trip to get to the beach + pack the boogie boards + make sure everyone (6 kids) have towels + does everyone have water? + did someone pack the sandwiches?!. You get the picture.



I'm sure it's nice to just be able to grab a towel and book and get in the car for a 10 minute drive. We decided to go to (the pictured above) Magazine Beach, which they hadn't been to. I terrified my parents when I off-handedly mentioned I wasn't 100% sure how to get to the beach and that it would be an adventure to get there. It involved some pretty bumpy patches and of course, the trademark "driveway" down the hill to get there. If you need a refresher, said driveway is two little crumbly tire track streaks. Pretty sure my parents had no faith in me, but that is just because they don't understand, it isn't up to us. Right Ali?

When we got down safe and sound we found a beach all to ourselves. We had a couple beach vendors come up to us (again with the spice necklaces in my nose folks!). One of them was talking about how there was a cruise ship in so in about 15 minutes the beach would be covered in tourists.

Call that guy Ms. Cleo cos my dreams came true in no time flat. As the tourists were pouring out of buses, DSLRs in hand, my parents turned to me, "Ummm... how did those big buses get down here?"

Yep. Those same fancy tire streaks. Haha. We all had a good laugh at that.

After sometime we decided all the wind was making the waves choppy so we packed up and headed over to Groom's. We enjoyed some snorkeling and relaxing, that is what vacation is for right? Afterwards Dad and I went to pick up some lobster I had ordered from a local fisherman.

Daddy the Science Guy struck again. I love this guy!



We waited for our lobster guy at the docks on campus. Not a bad view.



Not a bad view, but after three hours or more of waiting and back and forth, I was pretty irritated by his run around. Long story short, we left empty handed. I've made multiple valiant efforts to get my hands on fresh lobster and the only lesson I have learned is that lobster guys are LIARS. Such an incredibly frustrating experience.

But no worries. I dropped by work because my co-worker said her mom would make us some Oil Down (Grenada's Nation Dish). I was expecting just a small amount to sample and share but whoa! I'm so blessed to have amazing friends that really go above and beyond for me. She gave us a huge dish I could barely carry it was really that heavy. Another one of my colleagues made me and my crew a container full of gulab jamun. Which is an amazing and sweet dumpling type dessert.

For dinner we hung out at the hotel and had a West Indian feast!



Complete with Ting of course! I think my family was a little apprehensive about trying Oil Down, since quite often it has iguana and various animal parts, but this Oil Down was really incredible. Thanks Karla & mom!

During the week we had also picked up some pholourie mix. I think this is originally from Trinnidad so it fit right in.

It was really delicious too. We got these sauces to have with them. They are bottled right here in Grenada. The West Indian Hot Sauce is an absolute staple in my office at work. I work with women who have no sense of spiciness. This is a perfect example. The Nutmeg Banana Ketchup was also good, subtle like ketchup but a nice surprising flavor. 

As we cooked and hung out we made sure to catch their last sunset. :( It was sad but we were too busy yelling at the camera flash to go off, and shoving our face with food.

This estrellita!

Like I mentioned, the flash on all 3 cameras was not behaving. As a result, this one looks totally fake. Like the ones you get on Hollywood Blvd or Universal Studios.



My wonderful parents. Please don't go!



It was a pretty perfect night. After dinner and the sunset we looked at our photos from the past week, played with sea glass, and thought of everything we couldn't quite fit in during the trip. Despite that, it has been a fantastic week. I am so humbled by the sacrifices my family makes for me. The time, energy, and money commitments are huge to plan a trip like this. And if I know one thing in life, it is that I am one lucky girl!

Love you guys and miss you already.

Beaches, Stampedes, and Family Visit Day 5 (Part 2)

After having fun at the Belmont (Chocolate) Estate, we were ready for some lunch. We stopped at Bathway Beach for a picnic lunch since we were all pretty hungry. We had some visitors too. :)



The water is pretty rough, so we didn't go swimming. Ali and I stretched out and started to nap (happens to be a habit of mine at this beach), but decided to head over to Lavera before it got too late.



Lavera is my favorite beach on the whole island. Maybe because it's like a unicorn beach. Rare and beautiful. I've only been to the beach three times, which I think makes it more special.

Ali and I wore matching shirts on accident, and it pretty much made my day. I was pretty excited that she wasn't mad about it. Twwwiiinns! :D

Next up is a little gem that Ross and I found over Christmas break. I knew that the fam would like it, especially since Dad had packed his binoculars.

We had fun checking out the mangrove but before long we headed back through Grand Etang. It was already Thursday and we had yet to see a waterfall, so we decided it was time to fix that. As we started to pay for our tickets (you know I got us a discount), we see a hoard of Germans flowing like a geyser straight down the trail. No sleep til waterfall! 




Panicked, I madly dug through my purse for coins and told everyone "goooooooo!!!"



Lucky for us all they decided to go on the nature trail before heading to the waterfall. It was nice to enjoy a few peaceful minutes by the falls before they came down.

I've never been to Annandale with no one else there. It was really serene.

As much as this country gets on my nerves, it has been weird to think that this is the last time I will ever see these sights. It's been good to take my family around and get to do all these things once more. 

Maybe because it's like slow steady closure. I know I have been here for less than 2 years, but it's still been a trip (mean that in more ways than one).

For dinner mom and dad wanted to treat us to some place nice. It's pretty sad but I had no idea where to go. Ross and I never eat out, and I think we have forced ourselves into a mentality of not being allowed to even think about it. We decided on a nice place, Sangria. Ross and I went there for our anniversary last year and loved it. Cass, it has an amazing "atmosphere" if you know what I mean.

The family got to learn about getting your food on Caribbean time (= forever & 1/2). But we just relaxed and hung out. It was definitely worth the wait. My seafood alfredo was amazing, but my parents' Catch of the Day swordfish plate was absolutely incredible. It was a fun way to end the day - fat and happy.

Belmont Estate: Family Visit Day 5

We decided that Thursday would be a really great day to go to the north side of the island. We hired a free chauffer *cough* Ross *cough* who was really great. Highly recommend.

First stop was Belmont Estate, which if I may add, we navigated to flawlessly!

Dad, Mom, and Ali went on the Cocoa Tour, Ross and I opted out since we had both already been on it.



Ross and I found some sweet chairs and chilled in the shade.

I'm a little glad I didn't go, because it looks like they made Ali do work.

We wanted to go on my favorite Garden Tour, but the woman wasn't there. I was really pretty sad about that, but somewhere within me, I found tour guide Kristen. You can almost see the pain in her eyes.



We had fun though, and kept it short because it was getting pretttttty hot.
Earlier in the day we had tried to see the monkeys at Grand Etang, but those little buggers are the worst non-humans ever. I even looked all around for bananas (only coming up with plantains) to try and cajole them. I don't have time nor patience for those uppity things. Anyways, Dad was happy he still saw a monkey, even if it was in a cage.



After our tour(s) we snacked on some chocolate. It's funny because I never much liked dark chocolate before coming here. But after I tried some of the chocolate from Belmont, I am absolutely in love.

Next we headed to some beaches on the north side of the island.

Forts & Facts, Kinda: Family Visit Day 4

I'm not going to name names, but on Wednesday the not-so-brightest-crayon in the pack locked herself in her apartment. No. Didn't lock her car keys in the car, but was physically trapped in her apartment. That's all i'm going to say on that.

After that fiasco, we headed to the forts above St. George's, after some missed turns and tight squeezes we made it.

Fort Frederick was first.

Since we paid for entrance (this time) I decided to be the tour guide for the family, which meant I just read aloud the few plaques on the premise. I also made up some facts and history because #PalmdaleIndianMuseum.

Beautiful views of St. George's and the south side of the island.



The forts are fun to visit because you can walk around in all the nooks and crannies, or just take a short walk and enjoy the view. I love history, and I love thinking about what it would've been like to live in a time like that. I got my Asian on and took a picture of the plaque you so you could feel like you were there. I think this bit of history is especially funny/ interesting.



Most people in this world that know me (and ya, probably some who don't know me) don't understand me. They don't understand my odd sense of humor, weird sarcasm, and quirky characteristics. But my family, they get it. My sister and I decided the Fort Frederick, with those killer arches, was perf for some senior pictures! Dad joined in too. That little look on his face just kills me!

I remember looking at pictures with my Grandpa when I was younger. There were lots of 1960s quality scenery shots of vacation places like Yellowstone. I remember my grandpa kind of chuckling to himself and looking at me and telling me how much he wished he would've taken more photos of people and not places. Because looking back 40 years later, the shots of the camping site picnic table don't really mean anything.

I've thought about that a lot, so now I always try to get lots of pictures of people. And if my mom is up for a picture, I take a thousand! She is so beautiful I don't get why she always refuses.



As you can see on the left, my dad took every opportunity he could to make pirate faces in pictures. Speaking of pirates. Got a little pirat-spiration and took this picture.

I think we really nailed it!

Next we headed over to Fort Matthew, which is a lot more interesting, and apparently has a lot less humongous piles of guano.

We had fun poking around the underground tunnels and secret gardens. 

I can't stand how cute my mom is! 

We all chuckled a little bit about what a dangerous place this was, decrepit walls, rotting wood, 2x4s with tetanus nails swinging in the breeze. It's kinda fun to not have security guards breathing down your back and ropes blocking off dangerous tunnels. Definitely not much of a UNESCO world heritage site going on here.

When the Civil Engineer saw this, she just shook her head.

For dinner we got some chicken at KFC, picked up Ross from school, and went out to Quarantine Point for a picnic. I thought it would be a good place to watch the sunset.

I'm omitting this story, because I am still a little traumatized; despite that cute smile on her face, I think she is too. 

Dinner was good and it was fun to watch the sunset.

I guess I am slightly obsessed with my parents.

And since this is my blog I can put as many cutesy pictures of me and Ross as I want. It's nice to not have a selfie every once in a while. 

I love Quarantine Point, it has nice views of Grand Anse beach and BBC beach.

And a nice creeper shot of the hotel.



I'm pretty jealous of my dad's panoramic photo capabilities.



It was another great day, and I can't believe they have already been here for 4 days.