I am always surprised by how powerful those emotions can come back. Seeing pictures of our first home there makes me feel excited and anxious. Many of the pictures bring back memories saturated in sun but cooled by the bright hues of turquoise waters. Other memories remind me of darker days of hopelessness and despair.
The last semester there was such a blur of working two jobs and counting days til I left. I didn't blog nearly as much as I should have- considering all the adventures and emotions I experienced. But it is fun too, because at this point those memories rest safely in my head. There for only me.
When my friend blogged about her memories of Grenada, having left a few months ago, she was so eloquent. It filled my mind with all the good memories of Grenada and I knew for sure it was time for a post. I started looking back at pictures and my heart yearned for the lazy days. The days of walking to the beach to watch the sunset over the bay. Laying in the warm sun and swimming in the sea. I think of how lucky I was. I am humbled and awed by my experiences.
Then I slap myself and remember how hard it was too.
It's like celebrating your Nobel Peace Prize and forgetting the pain and frustration that went in to achieving it. And I'm conflicted. Should I feel joy and awe? Or bitterness and sadness?
But I remember that I can do both! Life isn't 365 Days of adventures at a time. Life is hard. But it can be good. And I wasn't lucky, I am lucky. I could want so much more. But right now I don't.
Facebook reminded me that this was 3 years ago today. No better way to celebrate than by paying $491 for a partial PTAL for residency applications!
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