If You Experience Side Effects- Please Consult Your Physician

Definition:

side ef·fect noun: a secondary, typically undesirable effect of a drug or medical treatment (or medical school)

And as with many drugs, the side effects are many and varied. I am sure I am not alone. So this post is for all of you who think my life is a glamorous one. Take a long hard look folks, and ask yourself:

"DO I WANT THIS LIFE FOR MYSELF?!?"

Side effects may include:

1) Difficulty growing up- One thing that comes from perpetually being in school is that everyone is growing up besides you. I'm 25 years old and I don't own a car. Well, technically I own OUR car. But I share the car. All your friends are buying houses and you're still too busy hearing your neighbor's cat whine and inhaling your other neighbor's secondhand pot smoke to think about a luxury like a house. ... or maybe even real furniture.

2) Uncontrollable Schedule Movements- You don't understand it. How do people take a WHOLE DAY with their husband? How did he get a day off? Did he win a Nobel Peace Prize? OMG. Please tell me you won the lottery! How else could people work AND plan. Tell me your life secrets!



3) Issues Making Plans- It's Sally's big 3-0 birthday bash and we throwing a huge party for her! I gave you a month and a half notice so you can come right?! Umm, he might be on-call because that's still two rotations away, buut he only needs to work one weekend, buut he might be on night float so maybe we could do lunch, buut maybe he will be getting off 24-hour call and he can sleep while I drive? People don't want to hear your long explanations.



4) Irritability surrounding  EO and anit-vaxxers- Please get out of my face permanently.



5) Hopelessness. The 20-year Plan is the new 5-year Plan. Medicine is a long road. And no one gets it. 4 years undergrad, 4 years of school, 3 years residency and then 2-3 years fellowship. When you're starting 4th year and you remember this:



6) Fatigue. Me from the process, Ross from well, yeah- school. When you are that tired you can fall asleep anywhere any how.

The couch is literally two feet behind you. 

Folks, those are the side-effects. Please consider seriously before starting on a path of being married to a med student. Or don't. But it will happen. And you will wish you had a real physician to consult.