I Had A Dream (Music Monday #19)

Saturday morning I woke up wondering if it was all a dream.

I sat in bed just kinda blinking, wondering if a pinch would bring me back to reality. I looked down at my shirt.

"Brian Fallon brand Painkillers"

It was tangible evidence that it wasn't a dream. I've done almost the same ritual every morning since, Because Friday night I had one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

I'll back up to the beginning where I banished my introvert-self and bought a ticket to head out to the middle of the desert (afterwards my mom asks, "Did you go to a rave?!"). Busy Friday evening traffic gave way to the lonely highway 62, which gave way to Pioneertown Road and rolling desert hills. I was expecting at least a little more fanfare for such an important event. Maybe a gas station or liquor store, but there was none. Blink and you'll miss the marquee-style sign, squint and you'll make out the words "Pappy and Harriet's -Pioneertown-," and a single neon "Budweiser" sign in the window.

Unlike a large LA venue, you're not getting there at least 30 minutes early to find & pay $15 for a random public parking lot. I just rolled into a dirt lot and parked, figuring this "parking space" was as good as any. I've never been so eager to turn off Brian Fallon's music- but just so I could get to hear him sing it in person.

I strolled up to the door, got my will-call ticket wristband and headed through the bar and restaurant to the tiny dance floor in front of a small stage. With some time to kill, I bought a shirt (what I would later cling to as proof!) and patiently waited for Johnny Two Bags, the opening act. I moved my way to the front and found myself pleasantly situated in the front center, about a foot from the stage and just behind a single layer of people.

Johnny Two Bags is Johnny Wickersham, front man and lead guitarist for the famous Social Distortion.



Since said introvert-banishing and ticket purchasing happened so last minute, I didn't have much time to check out his music beforehand. And that is a shame because it is incredible. Very catchy and easy to sing to. My favorite is "One Foot in the Gutter"

"It's been such a long, long time. And the devils and angels hanging around my bed,they don't seem to mind. They gonna drag me into the abyss or into a state of eternal bliss. I got one foot in the gutter,and one foot kicking in the door to heaven."

Johnny put on a great show. It was just him and his guitar. I always feel that solo acts take so much more talent and charisma. Amazing.

But I have to admit, that I was a little bummed out because it seemed like some of the people around me couldn't hang. There is a certain unspoken and basic etiquette (I thought) at shows. Like for one, don't be rude if you're in the front row, three feet from an artist. Like maybe hold off on checking your Instagram feed for 40 minutes. Like maybe don't drunkenly yell about your freaking cat to the people around you. 

Still, it was incredible. Saturday morning I promptly ordered his album and listened to it all day long. 

Monday I returned from work to find that it had arrived (seemed like it took a small eternity!) and it was fun to complement the live experience with a vinyl experience. The album is very different because it has a full band playing along with Johnny, so the sound is a little different but still great.

In between sets you could tell everyone was anxiously awaiting Brian Fallon and the Crowes and literally getting pushy. The drunk girl decided to attempt an altercation with me as she slurred out how she knows Brian Fallon and I can even ask him myself. Trust me lady, if I'm talking to Brian Fallon, it isn't going to be about you. Just be cool.

Soon enough Brian Fallon and the Crowes filled the stage. Even remembering this part makes me grin like a goon. It was the craziest feeling to see a musician who you've followed for 8 years just walk right in front of you. They started out with the Horrible Crowes song "Last Rites," it's only about a minute and a half but I think it is the perfect song to open with. It is also the first track on the Horrible Crowes album. My favorite part about it, and my favorite part throughout the set, is the look of pure joy on Brian Fallon's face as he plays. I hate to sound so corny, but you can see the music fill up his soul and as the harmonies all come together he gets this smile like "nailed it!"

One of the biggest reasons I go to concerts is for the chatter between songs. If I'm a fan I've bought the music and I listen to it routinely. But the funny stories and banter with the crowd is truly what I live for. Fallon did not disappoint. Ross had the opportunity to see him when he toured with The Gaslight Anthem about 5 years ago. And that was his favorite part too. When he came back from the concert (it was at a 21+ venue so I just stayed home and cried my eyes out) he said how fun it was to listen to his stories.

I didn't have much space on my phone for photos and videos (despite hours of desperate attempts to clear stuff off-ugh.). But nothing would have been able to capture what an incredible experience it was. Most of the music was from his work the The Horrible Crowes, mixed with new songs from his solo album. It was a mix of old of favorites, new favorites, and soon-to-be new favorites that I had only listened to bootleg versions of on YouTube.

The venue is definitely unique. It's small and wonderful. Similar in many ways to the small-medium venues I went to when I was in Utah. But you don't have that "neutral zone." You know that 4 foot buffer-zone where security stands to catch the crowd surfers? Nope. So you are right there, I spent the night about 6 feet from my favorite musician. The stage itself is probably only raised about a foot. Being so short would've been a challenge had I not been up so close. Brian (we are on a first name basis now) even joked how close everyone was, "If you guys had mono I would probably catch it!" 

During the show I just kept thinking how unreal it was. It felt like I had won some sort of contest, scored a VIP pass or something. I was grinning from ear to ear and singing my heart out even if I was so star-struck that I couldn't remember all the words. I know this sounds awfully fangirl of me, but he definitely noticed me and smiled. I know it sounds insane. Because I am and it was.

Some other highlights: 

• cover of Atlantic City by Bruce Springsteen.
• talking about how if he had a ton of money he'd want to throw pizza of the White House.
• final song of the evening, "Behold the Hurricane" which has quickly become a new favorite off the album, "Elsie."

Even though it was only released a week ago, "Smoke" is my favorite off of (soon-to-be-released) Painkillers. Okay, maybe "A Wonderful Life" is too. His performances are just so passionate and genuine. Check out "Smoke" here. 

"And you never ended up coming home, you just Became something like some smoke that I tried too hard to hold. And when I awoke, everything had changed you see, I Left my home, returned something different, I was Beaten to death, bleeding to death with regret."

I know he commonly meets with fans, so I was bummed when they didn't come back for an encore song even after all our my cheering. But I know they play a show tomorrow night up north so I just told myself they were in a hurry. I was still reeling from the experience. 

As I headed back out to the car I had this Lifetime movie-esque moment where I looked up at the thousands of desert-sky stars and just laughed about what a crazy experience it was. It felt so strange to hear him on the stereo in my car. Not the same. 

Later that evening I posted a picture on my Instagram. My sister asked, "Sooo, that's like a stock photo right? Like one the press took?" 

Nope! That picture was taken on my phone just below my face! I continue to be totally weird about the experience. I will have to post some video soon. 

Senior Citizens' Guide to Punk Concerts

You're getting old. And that's okay. But someone needs to tell you things aren't working like they used to.

That's me. You're welcome. 

Although you are aging, that doesn't mean that you can no longer have fun. Let's say, you find a magical punk rock line-up in a venue about 20 minutes from your location. You should definitely go. But not without some advice. Remember, you're not the young gun you were at Warped Tour '97. 

Blue skies, dirt, and marijuana-heavy air, it's festival time!

BEFORE YOU GO: 

• What to wear. You may not fit your Reel Big Fish t shirt from high school but go ahead and squeeze into your record store shirt from college, if you'd like. Don't worry about what you wear. You're a punk. You do what you want. A little extra eyeliner won't hurt though. 

I realize I look about 16 in this selfie, but you should still listen to my advice

• Take your meds. Your heart meds, your thyroid tablets, your allergy pills. Take an extra one of those cos you know there will be black boogers for days if you're anywhere near that circle pit. You're likely to get sore muscles from standing and rocking out. And a headache from the loud music. Extended release pain killers are your friend. 

AT THE VENUE: 

• Yeah you're a punk. But even punks gotta follow rules to get in to the venue. Read the FAQ and understand what you can take in. But know that you are never too old for slight of hand. If the caps need to be off your water bottles in order to be brought in, do it. But hide those caps because you can't afford to buy new bottles inside. You never actually grew up and got a real job so you gotta make the money from your desk job last. 

It's not punk without pot! Feel free to take the kiddos to the kiddie section with carnie games and over-sized inflatables. 

Or just throw them on your shoulders and rock out!

• Sunscreen. You've probably already had a skin cancer scare by now so you know how important it is to take care. Sunscreen every hour, or two sets, depending on the sun strength. Don't forget your bald/ balding spot. Though you'll fare best with a hat. 

• The nice thing about being old and fat is that you no long have to worry about the young guns taking you medium or small merch. Relax! Your XXXL shirts will still be there after the show. But be warned that kids these days are really getting in to vinyl so if you need records look out for those first. 

GREEN MEANS GO: 

You're all sunscreen'd up, your chucks are remembering these bless'd days. You made it through security and you are here. Now: 

• Know your limits. I'm sure you used to be a hardcore mosher. But you might want to consult with your physician before participating. But also rest assured there will always be someone younger, also probably someone fatter and drunker than you in the pit. You could probably split the difference and be just fine. Start with a light ska song like Fishbone. If you fall, there will always be a hand to pick you up, and a lot less 'bows than an Anti-Flag circle pit. Work your way up. 

Sweaty skaning tattos and hazy dirty circle pit air

• Take breaks. Don't push it. No one here judges you.

Sunscreen in your eyes, filthy sweat. Are we having fun yet?!

• So sit down and work your way into that shade the port-a-potties provide. You need it. Grab some TP from the the Less Than Jake show as it shoots out of a jimmy-rigged leaf blower. You never know when you might need some. 

• Take pictures. With your recent changes in, um... memory recollection, it will help you remember all the fantastic bands you saw. 

Bouncing Souls, Goldfinger, Fishbone, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake!

• But after a few, put that camera away and just ROCK OUT! -You've still got it! (sorta)

AFTERCARE.

There was a time you could drag your semi dead half-wasted body home and be cool by 9am the next day. That day is no more. Throw on that ultra sick, newly pressed and re-released, $10-bin-find, favorite album (maybe ever), vinyl and just be cool. You made it. And it was way worth it. 

Makin' Bacon Pancakes in Neeww Yoorrk!

Sunday was a nice lazy day. I think I may be running my sister into the ground pretty quickly. I need to remember to chill out with the itineraries. I thought it would be fun to try makin' some bacon pancakes. Of course inspired by this lovely song that will forever be stuck in your head, compliments of Teo.

It was fun to try something new. We candied the bacon first to make it extra delicious. And it was. No post from this trip is complete without food.

The recipe is easy. You just take a bacon and you put it in a pancaaakke! ... In Neeww Yoooorrrk!
Here is your complete photo tutorial, deprived of that lovely song.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Cream Cheese Bars

I have sometimes involved cooking posts on this blog. Because I am a human, and I need food. Also, because I love food. This often leads me to prepare food for myself. And when I feel the situation warrants, I post about the experience.

A lot of my cooking is from scratch because it's cheaper. Not because I am Holly Housewife and I love making the kitchen a huge mess for something that is gobbled up in 5 minutes.

But sometimes it is cheaper to NOT cook from scratch. I enjoy those times. When I found these tubes (yay 2015 and tubes of food!) of cookie dough for less than a buck, it was hard to resist.

I remembered some chocolate-chip-cookie-cream-cheese bar somethings rolling across my Pinterest feed awhile back. Of course I had scoffed, "PPFFFTTT WHO JUST HAS MONEY FOR PRE-MADE COOKIE DOUGH!" and hence not re-pinned.

I guess I couldn't fathom the day I would be this rich! Here it is folks, two bucks burning a hole in my pocket.

I found pretty much the same recipe across the internet, using this one but doubling it (TWO TUBES of dough succkkkas!), and adding vanilla cos I do what I want. Some people cook with wine (you know what I mean), I cook with music. Sublime with Rome has a new album coming out but all we get for now is this single. I could listen to the first 30 seconds of that song on repeat all day.

I know because I did.

And can we please find another name for this dessert?

Music Monday #15 The Thousands of Stars

Sometimes, I have very specific memories of music. I remember the very first time I listened to Angels and Airwaves. I was sitting in my boyfriend's car at a gas station on University Parkway, listening to the music he had playing from his ipod. I remember sneaking a look at the ipod while he was gone so I could find out what band it was. And as they say, "the rest is history" (for me and Angels and Airwaves at least).

Angels and Airwaves already had two CDs out by that point, so I had a great deal of catching up to do, but they quickly became my favorite band. For many months I listened to them exclusively. Being very formative and important years of my life, it's not too dramatic to say they got me through a lot. Even as I continue to listen to the music after all these years, I can think of thousands of associated memories. Some make me happy, some make me sad, and most always it, well, inspires me.

I think it is about time I do a Music Monday for one of my favorite songs from the band.

"Call to Arms" is from the band's second album, I-Empire. It is an amazing song and I've thought out many different interpretations for it. Today I am just going to pick out some lines.

"Have you ever felt a sad heart buried alive?/ You can do almost anything." 

The imagery in this line always gets me. In our moments of true desperation, when we feel truly forsaken and forgotten, the imagery of a sad heart buried alive begins to capture it. But this is followed directly by the line, You can do almost anything. It makes me think of a friend encouraging and lifting you up.

"And the thousands of stars come out thousands of times/ We can go, only if you believe/ Only if you believe."

A great deal of Angels and Airwaves music is centered around space and ethereal themes. Which again, makes the imagery of stars in the night sky absolutely stunning. I think back to times when I have seen the stars best. It was in isolated places, when the night was darkest. Only then are the stars most visible and bright. The stars have shown up in the night sky thousands upon thousands of billions of times. It is a pretty sure thing. The next line speaks to me about faith, believing. And how it is crucial in life.

"Do you feel like you've lost everything you can lose?/... Do you ever lay awake with a look in the eye?/ Asking God if a wish is too big to deny/ I will offer a line, and it's ready for use."

I think we've all had times in our life when even when surrounded by people we know love us, we feel so alone. This song always gives me hope. That desperation I was talking about, the feeling of not being able to lose any more than you have, are captured in these lines. Maybe it is the christian in me that likes the next bit. There have been so many times in my life where I have pleaded with God. Whether it is on my knees in prayer or lying awake at night, hoping in faith that my wish wasn't too big to be denied.

"When you can't go on, you got to get up and try/ This is it, can you feel me?/ When the bombs come down, you will make it alive/ But only if you want to believe." 

Again, I think of an encouraging friend who is right by your side. With the name of this song being, "Call to Arms" I appreciate the line about the bombs coming down, and making it out alive. Because in life we all have our metaphorical wars and battlefields. Call to Arms is a summon, an order, to take up and fight, which we all need to do to make it out alive.

This last little bit I love because I can never nail down what I think it means.

"I'd like to say, that you're my only fear/ and when I dream, it slowly disappears/ And when I wake, I'm right here by your side/ to feel your heart, beat in and out of time." 

I have a few ideas... but what are yours?

Music Mondays #14: Secrets

Music Mondays are becoming my favorite part of my blog because I can ramble and consider it an update on my life.

Now I have Sirius xm Radio in my car, I have exposure to lots of new music, and of course now I can listen to the Pilion station and bug the crap out of Ross. Definitely a plus. I heard "Secrets" by Mary Lambert and I first I was mostly weird'd out and turned off. After a quick comment about it to my mom, who I thought would agree with me, she just said, "Yes, it is interesting."

I took that cue to look it up and take a closer listen, after which, I decided that I really liked it.

-May Lambert- Secrets (ft. B.o.B.) (Warning: One or two swears)

I honestly haven't listened to much of her other music, but I like that because it makes this Music Monday different from others.

The song is a list of a bunch of her secrets with the catchy refrain:

"They tell us from the time we're young, to hide the things that we don't like about ourselves,
Inside ourselves,
I know I'm not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else,
Well, I'm over it."

It's alarmingly true. We keep all these secrets inside and social media helps us highlight all the highs and bests in our lives. Lambert's song is filled with funny, odd, sad, and interesting "secrets." The song got me thinking of some of my own secrets that I could share with the world my blog readers. I think secrets are sometimes just weird things about ourselves that you'd die if someone found out about. So don't worry, this isn't a blog post that'll make you feel awkward for reading it. You won't have to reevaluate our friendship or call me up to make sure I'm stable. Although, you can if you want.

Secret #1

Growing up I kinda hated on women who were all "stay at home mom and love it!!!!!" Cos I felt like they had no personality or goals. But now, I really want that for myself. Not the mom thing. Just the stay at home thing. But instead of raising the next generation, managing a household, and otherwise being supermom, I'll sit around and binge watch every episode of anything on Netflix. Take that for personality and life goals! (Future Employers: Totally a joke! ... Hire me please?) 

Secret #2

I hate that my hair is turning darker now I'm not constantly in the sun. I've always been a kinda "all natural embrace your color" kinda girl. But now, and not so secretly now, I wish I had the money to get it dyed to how it was a few months ago. 

Secret #3

You guys, I loved Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball. I loved it like a secret chocolate cake at a Weight Watchers meeting. Because I knew it was bad for me, and I knew I shouldn't, but I did. Ooooohh, I did. I'm not one for pop music and I've never listened to Miley's music other than the first few seconds of a song before I changed the radio station. So this caught me totally off guard but ... This was a "listen on repeat" thing for like, at least a few weeks.

That was liberating. As Mary sings,

"I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are (x2)

So what."

So what are your secrets that you don't care if the world knows about?

Piolín

Piolín

Music Monday #13: Wasting My Life

Sometimes, I reach out to life and I get sucker punched in my gut.

Okay, not really, but I thought that was dramatic enough to open this blog post.

For Music Monday, I was thinking maybe, just finally, I'd do a blog post. Not really having any song in particular to blog about, I thought it would be fun to do the first song that came on random.

Here we go:

Wasting My Life -The Hippos- was my sucker punch cos I really don't need my itunes shuffle rubbing it in that I have been doing nothing with my life lately.

(Or maybe I did)

I just came across this music video for the song and it's so completely, utterly ridiculous (but it's 90's ska so it actually makes perfect sense, "AMOEBAS!!!!"). I had to include it.

I've mentioned my love for ska over and over again. I could pick a new band every Monday and possibly never run out of Mondays. The Hippos were one of my later ska band acquisitions and admittedly this song isn't as ska as pop, but that's besides the point.

The point is, I dedicate this song to my current job search (she).

"Something in the way she never looks my way

I'm in love

Something in the way she doesn't hear a word I say

I'm in love

...

She's out of my league I'm insane

Am I wasting my life waiting for you?

wasting my life

waiting for you,

wasting my life

waiting for you."

Music Monday #12: Time to Move On

If I'm blogging, there is a good chance that I am putting off something that really needs to be done.

This time it's packing.

Again.

I've lost count of the number of times I have packed up this summer. Moving or traveling, I find myself here again. But this time with a little more finality.

This morning I woke up with a few lines of this Tom Petty song stuck in my head. Although I have many daunting tasks today, these random lines made me so happy. They made me happy because there are some musicians that will always remind me of my dad. Shoeless summers in the Palmdale heat, Saturday morning house cleaning, or just riding in the car windows rolled down with the wind in my hair.

Always happy memories, put to the tunes of the best of them all.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers -Time to Move On

I can't think of a better way to put the last few days. I feel like Wednesday - Saturday were 4 years, not 4 days. I haven't been back in California for a week but I feel like I've been here a month. But at the same time, things have happened so fast. It's been a bit chaotic.

Apartment hunting was a true nightmare - but we signed for a place.

We weren't anticipating to buy a car - but we did!

I sit here and reflect on everything. And the one thing that keeps coming to my mind is the chorus and beginning of this song:

"It's time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It's time to move on, it's time to get going"

Ross and I are starting a new chapter of our lives (and I'm trying as hard as I can to yank the door shut on the previous chapter). But we are still in a great bit of uncertainty. We don't really know what lies ahead. But as Petty sings, the grass is growing under our feet -new things are happening and hopefully this means greener pastures.

The song has some great lines. It talks about forgiveness, moving on, and looking forward. Some of the last lines:

"Like a deer in the headlights
Frozen in real time
I'm losing my mind"

I almost laughed when listening to these this morning. I could only think, "Yep!" The whole ordeal is a bit nerve-wracking. I can only hope that Ross and I have made good choices, mostly to be sure that losing my mind was the only and best option.

Ogden: Birthday 1 and a Surprise Concert

As soon as we thought we had seen our Ogden friends for the last time before the move, we had the opportunity to make one more trip. My second cousin was having her wedding and reception at Powder Mountain in Ogden Canyon. We stayed with our friends before heading to the wedding.

I secretly arranged a party for Ross's upcoming birthday. I love going over the top for birthdays so I was bummed when I found out his birthday was smack in the middle of insane apartment hunting and moving. Lame.

With the help of Heather and Matt, we got Ross out of the house and had some friends come over. Heather and I decorated with some awesome leftover decorations from her kids's parties this year.

We had a couple cakes, one with a particularly unique story. Matt's mom offered to make cake. She makes really delicious baked goods and always spoils Ross when he is in town. It's been so hot that when she went to assemble the cake it totally fell apart. She warned Heather about what happened, but re-assured us that at least the cake will be memorable. That's true!

It was fun to hang out with friends and celebrate Ross's birthday. The next day Ross and I tried to start the car and -NOPE. I'm not even going to go into it. But OF COURSE with only days until we leave this state behind the car would give out. That car has been pretty horrible to us and I will never be so happy for a car payment when we get our own car. 

Another event ruined by that stupid car. 

Earlier that day though, we went to the farmer's market.

We came back and had to deal with the car. It took all afternoon to get things sorted out, and even then we weren't exactly sure. I'm so grateful for my dad who has suffered through almost every possible car problem imaginable so he could talk me through things on the phone. My dad is seriously the best human ever. 

I guess Pepsi has been putting on these "Real Big Summer" concerts throughout the country. It was a pretty cool deal. They have a parade to honor a local business and have a surprise concert. Who the musician was going to be was a total surprise. Clues were given during the day and there was a crazy local buzz about all the possibilities. 

Some people said they saw P!nk in town (or her dad). It was said that it is a really popular person who had a top Billboard hit in the top 10. Pretty soon the news broke and it was....

Phillip Phillips

I knew who he was because just recently I started listening to a few of his songs. We went down to check things out and the parade was in full swing. It was crazy hot and I wasn't feeling well so we went in to Gandolfo's for some sandwiches. Pretty soon there was a lot of commotion and a bunch of important looking people came in with clipboards and boom mics. It was apparent that they were setting up for something. Then, before too long Phillip Phillips himself came in! It was pretty cool.

People were a little clueless though. I don't think many people knew it was the guy that they were all waiting for to play a concert later that evening. I mean, he is a pretty regular looking dude. I even had to tell Ross and Matt who he was. Anyways, they had him do a little pepsi spot, and we were right in the background!!! A lady came up to us and had us sign a release form saying that my money maker is now the property of Pepsi and they can use it anyway and anyhow they want. 

It was pretty neat. After he left the buzz went around and then everyone got star struck and started looking around feverishly for where he went. When they couldn't find him they just all started getting grabby for free Pepsi merch that was being given out during the parade. People freakin' crack me up. 

Music Monday #11: Somewhere in the Between

With the amount of chaos that my life is currently engulfed in, I feel like I am taking it pretty well. I thought moving to Grenada warranted a freak-out but now that looks like cake.

With all the stress in my life right now I try to take things one day at a time, and at least have confidence that I have a blanket to sleep on the street with, legs to walk at least a few miles a day if necessary, and my best friend who I only occasionally want to strangle (...jokes!).

But every once in a while I just break down. I'm pretty calm and confident on the outside but sometimes it just all builds up and comes crashing down in a magnificently ugly sob-cry phone call home. This whole road is sloppily paved (Grenada-"paved") with new rock-bottoms and new heartbreaks. Just when you think it can't get worse, can't get tighter, BOOM -surprise!- it does.

Let me introduce you to the head smashing tunes of Streetlight Manifesto. They aren't for everyone. Even the lyrics themselves can be a bit ... melancholy. When I listen to them around my parents they affectionately refer to them as ska/ punk-rock on drugs. Which, means a lot coming from their generation. So listen at your own discretion.

Today I refer us to the song that is the namesake for this particular album, "Somewhere in the Between."

It's always been one of my favorites and today, in a first in Music Monday history, I had the chance to discuss it with Ross. My life is a lot of Somewheres in the Betweens, I don't know where I will be tomorrow, I don't know where I will be living next week.

The whole song is a reflection on life or the "somewhere in the between" (between birth and death).

The song starts:

"You were gone when we found you. You were practically surrounded, you were trapped. But the opposition stalled, their blood ran cold. When they saw the look of love in your eyes."

Ross and I had different ideas when we read this part. I had always thought "gone" was metaphorical. I sort of took it to mean emotionally "gone." Perhaps distant or depressed, especially in reference to the next feeling of being surrounded and trapped. Ross took it to mean physically gone, being dead. I think that makes sense. I like it. Either way, the main point of this verse is the last line. The love in this individual's eyes is so powerful that even the opposition is stalled. Throughout his whole life, good and bad, it's summarize by an expression of love.

The next verse reflects on the journey of life. I love the optimism. It's real optimism that isn't overpowering or corny. To me it feels authentic, like someone is coming to the conclusion right now as they are thinking about it. Scratching their chin and shrugging a little.

"Maybe the times we had, they weren't that bad. And everything else was part of the plan."

I'm not going to go through every lyric of the song. I thought discussing this with Ross would clear things up, but it only opened up more room for interpretation, so I will do the same for you.
When this chorus is repeated the words change a little bit.

"Maybe the times we had, they weren't that bad. And everything else was part of our path."

Whether it is plan/ or path I like the way he expresses his feelings about the negative parts of life. Let's admit it, life kinda sucks sometimes. But, with the perspective that the afterlife could give us, will we just look back, shrug and say "Yep, we needed those parts too"?

"So you were born and that was a good day. Someday you'll die and that is a shame. But somewhere in the between was a life of which we all dream. And nothing and no one will ever take that away"

The last line gives a feeling of ownership. Your life is yours and yours alone. No one can live it for you, claim it for you, take it away from you. I haven't been thinking that my life is something of which I've dreamed about, but I hope someday soon I can have a little more perspective.

The whole song is a celebration of life. Life is not a phase or a step. It's important and you need to make the most of it. There will be bad times. Like when you are out of money and expected to move to a new city. But there are also good times. Like eating pizza with your best friends while talking about Adventure Time.

Life isn't a waiting room where we lazily leaf through out-dated magazines and wait to be called to our afterlife appointment.

"And someday soon my friends. This ride will come to an end. But we can't just get in line again."

This is it folks! Our one and only ride. No fast passes but also no re-dos. Make it count. 

P.s. Check out the symbolism in this sweet album cover art!

Concert time: USANA Style

There have been many activities that I have been plotting planning before I even stepped on this blessed American soil. I love going to concerts and I was hoping that Ross and I would be able to go to one or two this summer. In my searching for a suitable concert, I found an amazing line-up!

Plain White T's

Daughtry

Goo Goo Dolls

Whhaaa?! All bands that I had heard of? In an outdoor amphitheater at dusk? And... the best of them all... affordable? I couldn't believe it. But the real shock came when Ross gave me the "Hell no." look. I thought maaaybe he would do it for me.



Growing up, sharing a room with my older sister has shaped me in the best possible way. People often are surprised to hear I know of and enjoy bands far before my prime. But that is because I shared a stereo with my sister and I happily stole all of her cds to listen to (sorry Tarzan soundtrack, you just aren't that hip). So after Ross's "look" I went running to my sister. I knew for sure she would be up for it. The tickets were soon purchased and we hatched a plan to make my mom and two other sisters come to the concert with us.



In the end not all were able to come, and ironically enough Ross came.We had an absolutely amazing time.

The Usana amphitheater was a lot of fun. Rissa had been there before, so she knew what was up. The seats are just a matter of preference/ poison. You get to decide if you prefer the alcoholics in the seated section, or the stoners on the lawn section. We were fortunate enough to be far enough back in the seat section that we didn't get alcohol spilled on us, but were able to enjoy some second hand baking from the lawn section.

Perfection. Almost. The most perfect part of the evening was still to come. 

I was a bit shocked and appalled that Plain White T's were the opening act. But I was still so beyond my teenage-girl-dreams pleased to be seeing them live that I was okay with it. 

I remember finding them when I was in junior high, on a site called Pure Volume. This webiste was my goldmine for finding new bands and listening to cool music. Like Myspace and a 2000s version of Spotify. That was my most visited site, and I remember falling in love with The Plain White T's, and following them. You can imagine my betrayal when "Hey There Delilah" was such a huge hit. 

Way back in those days when tiny little Kristen could only dream about going to a live concert, I thought it would be simply brilliant to wear a plain white t-shirt to the concert. Because, get it?!?! Yeah I was weird even back then. I had a huge crush on the lead singer, Tom. 

The performance was amazing, and I almost got weepy during Delilah, but the pre-teens who incorrectly thought that song was for them were getting on my nerves and I couldn't show my weak side. After their set I went to check out their merch table (although, c'mon, I already HAD my plain white tee band shirt). I saw some creepers hovering by the back gate to the stage. Poking through the cracks. 

Pfffttttttttt!!!!!!!! What a bunch of wierdos right? Until Tom briefly poked out to say hello. 

HOLY FAN GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally lost my cool in the most epic fashion. Not in a flipping out going nuts fashion, at least not outwardly. I totally froze. I couldn't move my limbs and my face got flushed. 

Ross urged me to go over and say hi. I'm not even kidding, ^ that was me. I found some ounce of gumption somewhere in my body and went over. My mind was racing. I couldn't think straight. What would I say to him?! That I had followed him since purevolume.com, pre-Hey There Delilah days!? Sign my shirt? Be my best friend? Shake my hand?! HUG ME!??!?

My face flushed and I couldn't breathe. Right before he was going to sneak back away forever I asked if I could get a picture with him and in a hot sweaty beautiful mess of a side embrace, Ross aka best husband in the world, took this picture for me. 

One of the most insane moments of my life. I was so overcome with joy. I am 90% sure I am happier in this photo than all of my wedding photos, or maybe any photo ever taken of me ever. 

I think that is all I actually said to him. My heart was racing and I couldn't think.

That ladies and gentlemen is how you fangirl so hard. I still can't decide if I am mortified about it or just over-the-moon about it all. 

I'm pretty sure ^that is how I looked when I was walking up to him. I spend the rest of the night trying to recover from that glorious event. Daughtry isn't my favorite but it was a fun set. Goo Goo Dolls were amazing. He puts on a great live show, all the chatter between each song was fantastic. I love when you get to see the comical side of musicians. It was epic hearing "Iris" live.

Can summer please last forever? 

Music Monday #10: I Lived

Once again, my bag is packed. This summer has been: land, wash, rinse, pack, repeat. Whether it is a week long trip, a destination two states away, or overnight at my sister's place, I'm always on the move. And honestly I'd  have it no other way. I stay in a place for a week and I'm itching to just ... Well, go.

Thanks a lot Grenada, I blame this for you too.

On my most recent visit with my sister, she introduced me to One Republic's newest album, Native. I can't say that I listened to them much other than those almost irritatingly catchy radio hits years and years ago. But after listening to this album, it was love at first listen. Some songs I didn't care for as much, but this one really caught my attention.

I lived -One Republic-

The first verse starts:

Hope when you take that jumpYou don't feel the fall

-Taking jumps is a scary thing that we all do in life. Sometimes it's more of a push than a voluntary jump, but the fall comes eventually and I love the idea that the fall doesn't have to feel painful.

Hope when the water rises, You built a wall. Hope when the crowd screams out, They're screaming your name.

-This line isn't the last of the verse, but man it gives me goosebumps. I just think of what an incredible feeling it would be to have people screaming your name. Not literally per se, but just to have a huge crowd of people rooting for you, being on your side. 

Hope if everybody runs, You choose to stay.

-In this huge scary thing called life, there are times when we need to run, and times when we need to stay, and often, times when we need to do the unpopular thing.

Hope that you fall in love, And it hurts so bad, The only way you can know, You give it all you have

-I like this song because there are many ways to listen, hear, and interpret the lyrics. Ross heard this bit and thought this part was strange. I like it. I know the feeling of loving so much it hurts inside. But it's one of those "jumps" in life. It's one of those jumps that requires a running start. The kind where you swing your arms to "give it all you have." 

And I hope that you don't suffer But take the pain. Hope when the moment comes, You'll say... I, I, II did it all. I, I, II did it all. I owned every second that this world could give, I saw so many places, the things that I did. Yeah with every broken bone, I swear I lived

-The chorus is incredible. With flying to a new place and seeing family I haven't seen in literally years, I'm so anxious. Not in a bad, stressed out way, but a happy way. A really excited and happy way. When I first heard this song I thought about all my summer plans. I have so much planned and it is all so exhilarating. It's all happening all at once. I want to see so many places. I want to own every second this world gives me. And at the end of this summer, this year, this day, this month, this life... I hope I can swear that I lived.

Hope that you spend your days, And they all add up.

-I think this is my sister's favorite line in the song. It's clever. I spend so many days -yes, whole days- being worthless. It amounts to days that are, well, meaningless. But recently my days have really been adding up. It's time I will never get back, and when I spend it in a way that adds to my happiness, it builds me up and makes me rich. 

And when that sun goes down, Hope you raise your cup. Oh, oh oh. I wish that I could witness All your joy And all your pain But until my moment comes I'll say [CHORUS]

This song gives me this crazy feeling of invincibility. Like maybe I will just spread my wings and fly myself to Kentucky tomorrow. I keep listening to it on repeat and thinking of how much I have to look forward to in life. How lucky I am. How much work I still have left to do.