$20

I try not to blog about money too much, because I feel it can just bring everyone down. But today I blog about it to commiserate, and have the opportunity to look up GIFs. This week financial issues have slowly piled up and it all came to a head today because of an oil change.

A $20 (because you know I used a coupon) oil change that I had not budgeted for.

Sometime in January I decided to give hardcore budgeting a try. I've always (and constantly) been mindful of the money in my life. I think that was just how I was raised and how I taught myself to be. I was working before I was even 16 and developed a way of thinking in terms of money. This toy is x amount of hours of work became these groceries are x amount of hours of work, and now it's things like rent and car insurance. Unfortunately, as my responsibilities have grown exponentially my (still) hourly wages have not.



So although I have always been pretty frugal, I thought I would hit the budget hardcore after being lackadaisical in previous months. My brother made this incredible excel workbook with all these neat and fancy functions and formulas. And utilizing that, I put in my expected monthly income and -very conservative budget projections.

I was over.



I took a second look and shaved off someone allowances in categories I thought could take it.

I was still over.

Getting increasingly frustrated, I continued this toxic tango until the projected budget lined up within about $3 of my expected income for the month. Disheartened at the extreme lack of wiggle room, I admitted defeat (about the only thing you can do), and wrote down some ideas for how to stay within the budget. You know, like NEVER eat, NEVER go to Target, NEVER use electricity.

Cool.



To say I have been diligent with the budget is a bit of an understatement. It's borderline anal-retentive. As the end of the month approaches I find myself holding my breath whenever I swipe my debit card and crunch the numbers in my worksheet, hoping that I can breathe when it is over instead of passing out.




Then you can imagine my surprise when Ross wanted to take the car in for an oil change TODAY. HELLO IT IS THE 27TH OF THE MONTH! WHOAREYOU?!



And on the inside I was like:




And I just kinda lost it. I have these moments in life- which is just life but I blame it on med school, where things pile up and I break. I break because I. CAN'T. DO. THIS. And I spend every day trying to squash that thought and tell myself I can. I can hold it together. I can make rent payments and eat food. If you thought others were bad at convincing me, you should hear myself. Because I suck.

That brings me to the comfort people try to offer. "When Ross is a doctor, you will have it made!" Have I mentioned this on the blog before? Or have I just thought about it a million times? Yes. Thank you person-who-has-no-idea-what-I-am-going-through. That is super helpful that SOMEDAY Ross will be out of school/ training! And after 8 years of school and 6 years of training he will have a job. That is so so so helpful to remind me of that. Maybe you could also remind me of how much money Ross pays every day to go to school? Or remind me the rate at which those loans are gaining interest? Or if you want something to sting a little closer to home you can remind me of how short I am falling on saving for Ross's residency application come this fall.

Because in the meantime I am perfectly content with crying over how I don't even have $20 for an oil change.

Desert Roaming

After our poppy find yesterday I think we all wanted a little more. So after church on Sunday we took the scenic route home. But still, I was shocked to see this cool "river of gold" out the window.

Of course we had to stop.

The further we got from the road the more the desert just exploded with the little Goldfield flowers. I love how it looks like someone dropped a big ol bucket of bright yellow paint. 

I love Ross loving the flowers.

Can you see the mountains poking out in the distance?

Follow the yellow brick road... may have involved some impersonations of lollipop kids. 

The things my family puts up with.

It is incredible to me how all these teeny tiny flowers can add up to a huge field of flowers. 

We roamed around for a bit, venturing farther out in Littlerock to see what else we could find. Explosion of flowers on the side of the road! 

From the road the vast desert wasteland didn't look like much because the flowers were facing away from us- and towards the sun.Once you got a little farther from the road and turned your back towards the sun... BOOM. Bright yellows, light yellows, purples, whites, and an occasional bright pink. 

Before long we figured dad would probably be home and we didn't want him worrying about us. We headed home, with this bouquet of  flowers to press.

We ate some lunch then came back for more. 

Much easier to roam the desert when you aren't in a skirt and flats. Mom and dad brought the field guides and we had a fun time with the SLR. I love you Joshua Trees. Please marry me. 

My favorite were the "belly flowers." Yep, that's really the correct name. Dad said they are called that because you have to get down on your belly to see them. They are tiny little flowers that only come off the ground a couple inches. 

We ended up venturing waaaay far out. But there wasn't much out there in the way of flowers... or anything else for that matter.

Spot little mom and dad in the last frame? 

You Belong...

Among the wild flowers! And as much as I would like to turn this in to a Music Monday post, I'll just keep it filled with a million pretty pictures.

This weekend Ross and I headed to Palmdale to do a bunch of things, dentist appointment, working in the yard, and hopefully catching a glimpse of wildflowers. When Ross and I were living in California before, we didn't get to see many wildflowers. :( But with the recent little bits of rain... some decided to pop up!



My parents heard that there weren't any at the Poppy Reserve, but I had seen friends post pictures so I knew they had to be somewhere.


After some cruising around and a couple dirt roads, we saw huge fields of orange!



Following tiny paths and watching for rattlesnakes, we wandered.





We came armed with field guides, but mom and dad are pretty much pros at identifying wildflowers in the Antelope Valley.



You might be thinking... "Why the field guides? All I see are poppies."

But look again.



Yellow poppies as well as tiny purple flowers. There were also Golden Poppies and Fiddlenecks as well as various other yellow flowers mixed in there.



It was a beautiful day and we had fun just basking in the sun and enjoying the unique and seasonal beauty.



Ross loves being in nature and having never seen such a sight, was very entranced by the experience!





Did you know that the poppy is the California state flower?

I love how delicate and silky the petals are. And I love this picture!




Afterwards we wandered over to Leona Valley then back to Palmdale. Ending the trip with some delicious Thai food! Amazing every time.

I made this fun scrapbook collage to capture the beauty of the day!

Robot Dinosaurs and Outlet Malls

The past few weekends have held nothing too specific for Ross and I. A spontaneous trip to Palmdale, relaxing, and Ross working. I don't mind aimless weekends, but Ross was hungry for something a little more. He had to be to the hospital at some insane hour like 4:30 or 5am, but that meant he was home early too. We were out running some errands when something came up about Cabazon and Ross jumped at the opportunity to get out of town. 

The title of this post might have you wondering... what do robot dinosaurs and outlet malls have in common? Well... that would be Cabazon. The city of Cabazon is along the I-10, in the San Gorgonio Pass, it house a huge outlet mall, 65 foot dinosaurs, and a massive casino. We had first passed it while on our way to and from Palm Springs back in January. With a little bit of planning we headed out to meet the dinosaurs.

The trip took even less time than we thought and we rolled up to these new friends.

I think it's pretty random, but cool.

We walked around for a bit taking pictures and being silly. 

Then we wandered over to:



Which sounds pretty fantastical, but we were pretty put-off by the $9 charge to get in. 

Ross was all for it though and convinced me that we should probably do it. And I am really glad he did.

I figured it was one of those, "do it at least once" types of things so it would be worth it.

Thankfully it wasn't too hot, so it was fun to walk around and see all the dinosaurs in their little lush habitats.

With all of the intentional vegetation, you might now even realize the desolation that surrounds the dino enclosure.



Barbed wire... to keep the dinosaurs in? Or the people out?! dun dun dunnnn!!! Ross and I maybe got a little too into hanging out with our tackily painted prehistoric friends.



We even got to climb up into the belly of the beast... a T-REX!!!

Just hanging out in a T-Rex mouth! 

Afterwards we wandered back over to the entrance where there was a gift shop with the famed robot dinosaurs. Good thing, because robot dinosaurs are about the only thing that might be cooler than hanging out in the jaws of a T-Rex.

Maybe not as cool as the over-sized-metal-robot-dinosaurs-that-take-over-the-earth, I had imagined when I heard about it, but nevertheless interesting.

In the gift shop they also had this egg you can crawl into and hatch out of, AT YOUR OWN RISK.



So of course, we had to hatch.

Ross's hatching is more like a "HERE'S JOHNNY" approach.



The gift shop houses, perhaps, the largest collection of dinosaur-themed trinkets and toys ever.



But my favorite part was this: The opportunity to ride a dilophosaurus, complete with saddle. I love the disclaimer, "NO RIDERS OVER 80lbs."dangit. Wonder how many middle-aged men they had to turn away before they put that up. 

As you leave Mr. Rex's Dinosaur Adventure (and any hopes of getting your money's worth/ back) you pass the T-Rex you should've climbed in and approach an apatosaurous.

Not surprisingly ...also a gift shop. But it had some cool history and even a few fossils. 

Judging by the pictures you might think we spent a few days there but really I just wanted my $9 ($18) dollars-worth of dino adventure. Check! 

After we had sufficiently acted like 4th graders on a chicken-bone-fossil-dig we drove over to the Cabazon Outlets. First: Dinosaur billboard murals.  

We would eventually find out that the Cabazon Outlet features what feels like a half-marathon's worth of miles of high-end shops. 

So quite naturally I went all out with a $5 skirt purchase at Charlotte Russe. 

And Ross went all out with a $20 all leather reversible belt which is only like 2 years past-due. We like to live life on the edge. We spent the rest of the day in and out of shops that maybe someday will be a thing in our life, but mostly just walking til our feet fell off. 

On our way home we decided to try The Fat Greek in Yucaipa (thanks restaurant.com). The food was delicious and I started having the most wonderful flash backs to this time in my life. Definitely a place I would go back too! Mmmm. Lamb.