Amazon Woman: Hear Me Roar

2/16

When you move to Grenada, it isn't long before you turn into a monster. I mean that in a few different ways.

Today, I mean that in a why-are-there-a-dozen-pictures-of-dead-cockroaches-on-my-camera way.

Yeeaaah.

Pre-Grenada (this is how I measure all time) I killed maybe a handful of cockroaches. Yeah maybe I coulda described that differently so my hand doesn't feel itchy now. 

During-Grenada? Innumerable (besides the numerable evidence on my camera). And for some reason I feel the need to document all of this photographically? I kept the collage small, but if you would like a larger version just PM me.

What.
Is.
Wrong.
With.
Me.

I am a monster.

I am pretty sure all normal people hate cockroaches. When Ross sees a cockroach, he takes it personally. 

He has to take time to devise a plan and make sure that without a shadow of a doubt, that sucker is DEAD! His plans involve shoes on your hands and feet (his, more surface room of course), Raid, moving furniture, and plan Bs. So when I see one, I've just gotten into the habit of taking matters into my own hands (again, with the hands thing! Yeesh). 

Now whenever I see a cockroach it's kinda like, "Oh hey, give me a sec *grabs closest shoe*

*SMASH*

*The moral of that story is never put your shoes away so you always have one close.

But what I realized, is that people are starting to pick up on my special talent. When I was in California last summer my sister comes dashing out of the bathroom, alarmed that there was a cockroach.

Did I bat an eyelash?

Nope.

I don't mean to brag but I wasn't even scared. I just did what I do best, grabbed the closest shoe and took care of business. I AM A MONSTER.

See, Grenada turns you into some sort of an Amazon woman, and suddenly you are responsible for all the nasty chores like hunting and killing spiders and super smashing roaches. It's suddenly your responsibility to pick out the best mosquito repellent, smash the cockroaches, and catch the mosquitos mid-air. Have I mentioned the mosquito pictures?



Actually, living here in Grenada qualifies me for all sorts of things. I'm also responsible to give full reports on the best sunscreen, counsel how to get cheap airfare, devise how to smash 50 pounds worth of candy into your carry on, and how to cook breadfruit. People think you are some sort of formidable island woman. 

This is paradise folks! 

Just in case this post  hasn't creeped you out yet, I will leave you with this.